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Breaking the Silence

@DavidSanders said in #750:
> Jenny with her boobs hanging half way out- "I got sexually harassed" No excuse for Ramirez though.

Every rapist has said a sentence of this quality in his defense - probably also the archaic instinct-driven Ramirez and Gareyev.
@svensp said in #742:
> There is a difference whether an organization decides not to let an individual against who several allegations of sexual harassment had been made become coach of a women's team or whether a hairdresser refuses to serve a customer for the same reason. A huge, almost grotesque difference.

I must thank you for your reply and note that your points were meaningful and balanced. I'll try to explain my point (my exaggeration) a little further.
I did take the problem too far - on purpose, as, for example, George Orwell did. (I'm not saying i'm George Orwell or of equal talent and merit, it's just an example of a writer who exploited "sharpening" the issue, artistic exaggeration) .

From a chess club ban to a restaurant ban there is a straight path. Why? If we spread the culture of "acting" out of "good intentions", then a restaurant or a haidresser's must think they ought to ban a "bad man" just out of decency, just because everyone does it, even chess web sites. How can you let this abuser walk into your restaurant? There's a bathroom where women and children go. Hollywood can "cancel" someone, a chess club cancels someone, basing its decision on ALLEGATIONS. In Stalin's Russia or at the time of the Spanish Inquisition, or in modern Russia, come to that, an anonymous report about someone not singing loudly enough about Stalin or Jesus - would take a person to jail. The neighbour takes the decision, about someone who doesn't love their Motherland or Jesus. It is (again) taking it too far on purpose, so that the trend can be seen.
What concerns me more is that LICHESS has a lot to say and even do about that. I read your other comment about everyday practice of acting before the police knows and even without the police knowing, when someone steals the company's property, for example. They get fired.
It makes sense BUT allegations made by Jennifer Shahade are just her allegations. I'm not a monster and think that anyone must be protected from violence, especially vulnerable people, especially in situations where authority may be used (a coach, a priest, a teacher, a policeman). But i don't just TRUST Jennifer Shahade as i don't trust a Soviet neigbour who wants my appartment for themselves. It's not how justice works, reports from good neighbors and allegations. I know a woman (personally), a dangerous type, who filed a police report about her rich ex, just to make his life miserable. It will take him years to clean his name because the rumour is already there. I don't like the guy either but it's not about liking, just trying to say that allegations may have their own purpose.

>The first instance is about protecting players in your care from potentially severe harm.
1. I agree. To think of it, sexual violence has a gender. It is almost always male. It would be logical to allow only female coaches to work with underage girls. Otherwise there's always a risk.
2. On the other hand, if we don't apply the above rule, then we just have allegations, by Jennifer, about trying to kiss her or sth like that, and another girl whom he kissed (allegedly) or commented something. Are they telling the truth or trying to harm Ramirez or looking for revenge or some kind of benefit or approval? I, personally, don't know, and i doubt LICHESS knows enough.
But i have no doubt that Lichess has GOOD INTENTIONS and acts basing their decisions on GOOD INTENTIONS. They are good neighbours, i get that.
If the allegations are true, does it mean Ramirez would harm GIRLS? (especially underage girls). Trying to kiss someone and inappropriately thinking "it's fun" is harmful to the victim but he's not a rapist of little girls, is he? For inappropriate or even criminal sexual behavior (ALLEGEDLY) 10 years ago, when we was 20-something he is being REALLY socially chastised today.
Would i be concerned today as a parent of a female chess player? Probably, but i wouldn't think my daughter is IN DANGER with Ramirez. Especially today, after the scandal, he would be extremely cautious even trying to speak in someone's direction. If they try to protect them in the past, 10 years ago, from an attempt to kiss a say something inaproppriate, then they HAVE FAILED, because if it really happened, it HAS already happened, there's no protection from that. In the future, i don't think Alejandro Ramirez will be really dangerous to someone, whether the allegations are proven to be true or not.

>This is not the same as the tragic picture you paint where individuals are completely ostracised from everyday life
LICHESS is not so far from a RESTAURANT as it might seem.

Thank you again for your commentary, it made me think and i agree with most of it.
@getting_there
Thanks for explaining your point of view.
I'll answer one more time and then I'll let it rest as I feel the debate has become quite repetitive.

According to an article in Forbes Magazine that references a WSJ article, eight (8) women have accused him of improper conduct.

www.forbes.com/sites/anafaguy/2023/03/07/eight-women-accuse-chess-grandmaster-ramirez-of-sexual-misconduct-report-says/

Yes, these are allegations. By eight (!) people nevertheless, according to the article.

Coming back to the court analogy, witness statements are an accepted form of evidence in court, so these statements are evidence, they're not in some separate unconnected category of 'allegations' for which there is of yet no evidence. No, there _is_ evidence, there may or may not be enough to convince an observer, but these allegations, these statements _are_ valid evidence.

Do you think there has to be video recording of an incident or 'independent witnesses' (whatever that is) or a court verdict for any of this to lead to any consequences? Shouldn't it matter when the numbers grow?

Before taking action against an accused individual where you cannot be _certain_ of the truth there certainly has to be considered the case that the person might be innocent and the consequences of your decision for them.

But there also has to be considered the effect on people other than the accused person in case they're not innocent. I think this decision should be made on the balance of probability and on the effects of both cases.

It's not an easy decision, for sure, but there's no way around it and there's no need to apply a "beyond reasonable doubt" standard.

Let's say there have been allegations at a bank that one person has been falsifying accounts by eight different people who would be in a position to witness it in case it happened. Should the company sit tight and not do anything and perhaps even give that person additional responsibilities with more access to accounts? Or should the bank perhaps give the person forced leave or even let go of them? Is that an option at all?

I think there is a clear difference between women reporting sexual harassment and people in totalitarian regimes denouncing their neighbours anonymously to powerful intelligence agencies. To me, this comparison too is unfortunately not a good one. I understand that you're arguing that this is where this could lead to. But I disagree, the two situations are entirely different.

Your point of comparison is a situation where there is an unjust system in which allegations are made. The only proper solution in that case is that the system should be dismantled and that any allegations made within the system are therefore tainted.
In your comparison the original behavior by the accused person basically is almost irrelevant as the entire system is unjust by definition and the people working with it by making allegations within it are accomplices.

Sexual harassment accusations within clubs or companies or institutions in modern democracies are a completely different matter.

To explain a bit further why this is an inaccurate comparison, we could just as well imagine comparing it to somebody making anonymous statements to authorities on the activities of organized crime or whistleblowers talking about bad corporate or government conduct. These are also anonymous allegations. But if I were to make this comparison, the accusers would look good almost by definition and you could protest that this is a different situation and you might be right. Your comparison on the other hand makes them look bad almost regardless of the accuracy or otherwise of their allegations.

There can also be repercussions for people making accusations against people in positions of power. That also should be taken into account when considering that an allegation can be made anonymously and when judging people who choose to make anonymous statements. That doesn't mean that they shouldn be weighted less than accusations by people willing to put their name behind them.

Any serious allegation has the potential to upend the life of the person who has been accused. Does that mean that allegations should never have consequences? I don't get it and if that's the point I completely disagree.

I think it's also important to understand that by the nature of sexual misconduct there's usually not going to be any video evidence available and often not even any additional witnesses other than two people.

I disagree with the idea of a gender separation between men and women in order to avoid the risk. Sexual harassment and sexism are the problems, not proximity of men and women as such.

> From a chess club ban to a restaurant ban there is a straight path. Why? If we spread the culture of "acting" out of "good intentions", then a restaurant or a haidresser's must think they ought to ban a "bad man" just out of decency, just because everyone does it, even chess web sites.

But it wouldn't be because somebody is a "bad man". It would be because there are serious allegations by several people. And not just being a member, but being in positions of power and responsibility. This is not like some random customer at a hairdresser about who somebody has heard "evil rumors". I think this is completely downplaying it.

By the way, if multiple women accused a member of a random chess club of sexual misconduct, there should definitely be consequences for that person even if there is never a trial.
Yes, it's possible that they all set out to harm an innocent person as part of some conspiracy against that person. But that is very unlikely - unless there is evidence to back up that conspiracy theory.
Otherwise bringing up that scenario just looks like an attempt to discredit the people making the allegations.

Also, this kind of situation cannot even be excluded in court: Witnesses may be lying, evidence may be manipulated, court convictions can be unjust. There is no absolute certainty ever. Does this mean no decision can ever be made?
Why not switch to an arcade setup like with e-sports? OTB chess was designed mostly for men, now you have women forced to sit across a board, with no phones or anything, for hours. Biology is going to work against that and the women have a right to feel safe. I suppose online is safest but there are ways to make OTB safer as well.

Men behaving better would be the best option, but it seems some are not there yet.
If laws have been broken, they should file charges. Until then I support 'innocent until proven guilty'. If these men are guilty, I strongly support criminal charges and punishment.
Well, that's one way to solve the issue of not being able to unfollow St. Louis Chess Club for some strange reason.
@NekomancerBC said in #757:
> If laws have been broken, they should file charges. Until then I support 'innocent until proven guilty'. If these men are guilty, I strongly support criminal charges and punishment.

This forum post is a prefect example why most victims of sexual assault don't report it to the police. Can you believe that? Most victims of sexual assault don't report it to the police.

Some of the views, victim blaming, victim attacking are breath takingly regressive. A real eye opener people think that way. They so passionately and emotively attack the victims and lichess and make demands of the victims.

Do you believe people have the right to free speech? I'm not sure if free speech is protected in canada, I assume it is.

Free speech traditionally meant the government won't try to stop speech, it doesn't mean there won't be civil consequences, it doesn't mean you can say what you want on a private forum.

So, if someone is OK with possible civil consequences for what they say, you believe they still don't have the right to say it?

BTW, where are the civil lawsuits by the accused men?

If we are going to turn the accused attackers into victims, victims of defamation and whatever else like being unjustly banned, unfairly dismissed, or whatever. If we're demanding the victims of sexual assault prove it in court, shouldn't we also be demanding the accused attackers prove defamation and whatever else in court?

Until the accusers lose in court they have done nothing wrong. Similar to innocent until proven guilty.

Until lichess lose in court, they have done nothing wrong. Similar to innocent until proven guilty.

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